It’s funny how I use to think I knew what love is. I use to be okay with it being overly one-sided. In any relationship, I have ever been in, I have always given my all. Even when I knew I was being cheated on, or I knew that someone wasn’t giving me their all, I always tried my best to give whoever I was with my all.
Now, being in a mutually giving relationship I see that I didn’t really know what a healthy relationship was. I’m not going to sit here and say that I have never loved someones before because I have. I was in a very long-term relationship before now and I truly did love that person. Towards the end, I felt I deserved more. At the time, I also thought I was being irrational, that maybe I was asking too much. I wasn’t. I wanted the same respect and feelings I was giving, I wanted it to be mutual.
This relationship that I have now with Cale is so different than what I experienced before. He cares about my thoughts and opinions. He makes me feel important and assures that he cares for me. I have never doubted anything he has said, he makes me feel his love for me without having to say it. He goes out with my friends and talks to them as if they were his own. His friends incorporate me into their plans, something I’ve never experienced. My friends are his friends and his friends are mine. We understand each other 100% without even having to always talk about things. He’s never made me feel bad about myself and always boosts me up. He tells me he’s proud of me, and always brings positivity into our conversations. He’s a real good guy, he prays before he eats, cares for those around him and is always willing to lend a helping hand.
My childhood friend Victor was moving and Cale went out of his way to help move some couches from his apartment to the house. He is always willing to help anyone and everyone. He has such a big heart, it’s truly amazing and beautiful. He wants the same things I want in life. He really wants a family and is excited to have one, just like I am. We talk about the future.
He accepts my past, my health issues, my friends, and family. He has never judged me for anything I have ever said or done. We are both such sarcastic assholes, we can joke with each other knowing we don’t mean what we say. Before we even said it, we knew that we had a connection unlike anything we’ve felt before, we know the feelings we have for each other were different and special.
I’m really excited to see where this relationship will go. I know that we will grow together and hopefully something wonderful will come from it. He’s starting the nursing program at TWU this semester and I am so proud of him. He works so hard not only in school but in life. He loves my writing too, he loves reading my poems and blogs. He makes me feel like I could actually do something with my writing. He believes in me.
GetitLace 